It’s been six months since my last posting. I’m not sure what possessed me to write tonight.
I have to say that I have kind of missed this blog. It had been a friend for more than three years during perhaps the most exhilarating time of my life. It was my go-to place. Through this blog, I was able to chronicle the writing and and self-publishing my first book. I used it to discuss my decision to quit my job and pursue my book. And when I made the momentous decision to move to Europe to find my biological mother’s family for my next book, my blog was there.
But, as I stated several times earlier, I felt I had nothing more to say. My first book, This is My Lemonade, is now three years old. I’ve finished my research, found distant relatives and returned to America.
Now I’m back, living in Portland, Oregon. I’ve found a good job where I’m quite happy. I lucked out and found an incredible 900 square foot apartment with an unparalleled view of downtown Portland. Life is good.
And the funny thing is, I’m still attracting Twitter followers, even though I haven’t posted on Twitter in six months. It fascinates me.
What surprises me even more is the identities of some of these people. Many have ties in L.A.’s entertainment industry. Surprising. I wonder what they think when they don’t see a posting from me??
I suppose I should admit that I read a little bit of this blog. A friend is staying overnight and we chatted about my time in Italy and it prompted me to look at my musings.
In all truth, I try to avoid the writings from my year in Italy. It saddens me. I’ve already been home for nearly a year and it bothers me. It bothers me to know that the experience of living as an expat in Italy, researching my biological mother’s family and all my travels occurred over a year in the past.
I don’t want it to be so. It means time is moving even more quickly and I want that experience to be more than a footnote in my life.
But that’s reality. I still have my blog. I have my photos and my videos. And I have the memories. Now I have to motivate myself to get back into this second book. I’d like to finish it next year. That is the goal I have unofficially set for myself.
Bob–I know the feeling. It seems like last week that you and I were in the canoe, taking a spin around the pond. You were admitting to me that you were considering a move to Italy. For awhile, maybe forever. We talked, we watched the ducks floating around, and then we went into the kitchen to drink the wine that your father had made.
It seems like just a little time ago, but in fact, since our thirty-year-reunion I have aged ten years. I can see it in my face.Lines on the mirror, and they aren’t of the 80’s. Life in the Fast Lane.
In the last decade, my aunt died. My maternal grandmother. My father. My mother. Damn it, my good friend Sally. Slow down, Time!
In fact, it isn’t just that I’m aging and my loved ones are slowly getting off the Time Train, it’s that I am having to work at my health now. Since when did we have to worry about our knees? Our digestive systems? Diabetes? I can’t believe how much work it is to stay moderately healthy now, as an older person.
The positives? The memories, the photos, and hopes for more good times ahead. We don’t have to just focus on the hard work of maintaining life (our own!), nor do we have to feel sad about what we’ve lost. As you said, Bob, what we’ve made of our lives is so remarkable, so interesting! And as I told my sister years ago, between the both of us, we have done everything. What my sister has done, I have not; what I have done, she has not—but through love and friendship, we can share everything!
Thank you so much for sharing your fascinating life with us, Bob.
You big sweetheart! Yes, I understand. When you mentioned our time in the canoe, I flashed back to it. Amazing that I was considering a move to Italy and actually did it! It still shocks (and impresses) me. Now life is back to normal, but it’s better than it was, for me, anyway. I love where I live, I really like my job and I have a great future there. What changed?
I understand the losses. We’ve lost four classmates since our 30 year reunion. I lost my bio father. But I gained so much. So much was crammed into these past ten years, especially the last four. What is next?