Cut some slack and keep on keeping on

OK, I’m gonna cut myself some slack here. I just listened to the MP3 of my KUIK interview. I rattled along like a magpie and I now understand why. After Thursday’s interview at KSHL it became clear.

The interview at KUIK in Hillsboro left me with precious little time to speak. It was live and there were a LOT of commercials. As a result, I felt that I had to cram a lot of info into a short space of time. Whereas, the interview at KSHL in Newport was not done live and was recorded for future broadcast in November, National Adoption Month.

In the latter interview I felt more relaxed, like I could express myself and answer the questions fully. Perhaps even think. This helped me so I didn’t fall all over myself trying to think of the right word.

This whole thing is a learning process. I will become more versed as time passes and also more relaxed.

Secondly, I’ve got to cut myself some slack on the pace of success. Radio interviews seem to be relatively easy to get–I’ve proven that. TV interviews? Well, we’ll see about those. I’m sure they are much more difficult.

The frustrating thing is that radio interviews are not resulting in sales. It makes me wonder if I’m spinning my wheels. We all know that visual media sells more so perhaps that should be where I focus my energies.

I’ve already contacted the TV stations in Portland and Vancouver, B.C. I still have to contact Seattle. I’m gonna pursue Bend, Eugene and Medford, too. But once I’ve done that, then what? Do I just let This is My Lemonade lie there and die a slow, agonizing death?

I get discouraged and sometimes wonder why I’m doing this. Should I have quit my job? Was it an impulsive thing to do? Should I have thought this out more? If I had, I might not have made the jump. I tend to over-think things which means I’d STILL be considering the decision if I hadn’t been so impulsive.

Yet every time I doubt, every time I think of pulling the plug, something happens–KXL suddenly tells me they want an interview. I find out KEZI-TV in Eugene is considering me. I then find my faith stretched. Is this God’s way of telling me to hold on, that I’m getting somewhat closer to the end of the rainbow for my pot of gold? By that I don’t mean a million dollars, but some substantial income generation that will allow me and encourage me to continue? Or at least the knowledge of where to go next, what to do next?

Or is this just random? I believe in God and in the power of the Almighty but I am not certain what part He plays. Is all of this the result of my efforts, blessed by God? Is it just me using the talents God gave me? How do I know? The thing is, I don’t know for sure. A former friend said once that he believes God is aware of everything but not necessarily involved in everything. That makes sense to me. Is God responsible for me getting a convenient parking space when I’m late for an important appointment? Or did the man parking there just happen to leave?

I know there are some who are not happy or comfortable that I’m suddenly invoking the Almighty. I don’t care. This is important to me and I grapple to know so I can make intelligent decisions. Yet the reality is this: if I were to pull the plug, it would not be God that was responsible because the book wasn’t successful. It would be due to my decision. Yet if I continue and it does become successful, is that because of my intelligence and diligence or because God influenced it? Or is it both? It all takes me back to two paragraphs above. Whatever. I will keep on keeping on.


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