Back and forth

A three year old girl was recently reunited with her adoptive parents in South Carolina. This is not necessarily big news, until you dig a little further. It turns out that she part of the Cherokee Nation tribe of Native Americans in Oklahoma. When her mother was pregnant, the mother agreed to give up her baby to adoption to a couple in South Carolina.

The mother is not Cherokee; the father is. The father signed away parental rights to the mother, not knowing she would give up the baby for adoption. Before the adoption was finalized, the biological father stepped in. The little girl was returned to Oklahoma after living with her adoptive family for two years. The courts determined that the father did not have any standing and demanded that he work something out with the adoptive family. He refused and the South Carolina has demanded that he be expatriated there to face charges. Oklahoma has agreed and says the baby, “Veronica”, should be returned to her parents. The Cherokee Nation has also been involved.

So, where does the child stand in all of this? According to the press, she is 3/255ths Cherokee. Is this truly a desecration of Native American blood to have this girl adopted? After living with her adoptive parents and bonding with them for two years, is it truly in the best interests of the little girl to yank her away and take her to a man she doesn’t know, who willingly signed away parental rights? What did he care if someone else raised her? The biological MOTHER wasn’t Cherokee, yet that seemed to be okay with him.

And is anyone, including the Cherokee Nation, considering the effects on a small child who has spent the first two of her formative years? How is this impacting her growth and cognitive ability? How is this impacting her emotionally? When do politics get a rightful kick in the groin so common sense can prevail?

I see issues like this so often…children given back to abusive, dysfunctional families in feeble attempts to “keep families together”? These children are our future, as Whitney Houston sang. Shouldn’t we put their best interests first?

Any thoughts on this?

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2 thoughts on “Back and forth

  1. Perhaps you need to do a bit more in-depth review before you make up your mind. I see it as judgemental that you assume that the father is abusive and dysfunctional (because otherwise you would not include that in your post re a private domestic adoption) – especially noting that for someone who has served this country in Iraq.

    Miss Veronica has lived almost as long now with her father, as she did with the prospective adoptive parents, and quite likely has no explicit memories of her time before – so what would yet another disruption do to her at age 4? Adoption should happen when a child needs a home – this child did not, and does not – need a home.

    Without a father the child would not exist – fathers must be treated just like mothers in adoption.

    • I wasn’t being “judgmental”. My comments about children being given back to abusive families was made as a general comment–it’s very typical here in Oregon to keep biological families intact, even if it means giving a child back to an abusive environment. I’m not sure what serving in Iraq has to do with anything in this instance. And regarding your cavalier attitude about “yet another disruption”, psychologists have learned that the formative years are crucial for a child’s development. A father who wasn’t concerned about her, suddenly is? Now he’s violating the law? If he’s so concerned about the child why did he virtually give her away by allowing the mother to do what she wanted? Perhaps you need to do some more in-depth review of this father and his true colors.

      Yes, I’m aware that a child would not exist without a father, that’s a “no shit, Sherlock” statement. And I agree that fathers should be considered in adoptions, but this father gave up his parental rights. That is a defining argument right there as I see it.

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