Don’t show me the money

So, as I mentioned in a Facebook posting, my Salem book launch occurred on Saturday. At first, attendance was sparse so I opted to commence the reading ahead of schedule. Big mistake. A number of people arrived right when the reading should have begun origninally. I am still regretting my early start.

Anyway, this launch was successful in a different way than the Oregon City launch. Where the Oregon City launch resulted in more attendees and more sales, the Salem launch was successful in a less quantifiable, yet more meaningful way. First, a former board member from one of my old HOAs that I used to manage arrived with his wife. I was blown away. Seems his wife had read about the launch in the newspaper and she remembered my name. They determined right then and there to come and buy a book. I was so touched.

Then a friend from junior high arrived and bought two books–one for a family member due to a family issue which I am not at liberty to discuss. She said when she heard me speak she knew she needed to buy two copies. My heart surged.

THIS is why I wrote my book. Not for the money. For two years I’ve had it in my heart that my true desire was for my book to resonate with someone and result in healing, reconciliation, forgiveness. If it results in just a phone call, isn’t that better than nothing? Doesn’t that get the ball rolling? Doesn’t that set the stage? Use whatever metaphor you want, but the intention behind this book is to make a difference. I don’t care how small. A small difference for the better is better than no progress at all.

And after the reading, people were asking questions, different from the Oregon City reading. I was asked some very probing questions about what I had learned, etc. In discussing details in greater depth I gave away a few things in the book, but I also saw the response of the attendees–people wiping their eyes (men and women), people genuinely touched.

It’s these responses that will help me to press onward. When I’m down and discouraged, I will have my blog to re-read to remind me that there’s a bigger prize out there. Maybe someone somewhere will be so impacted by my book that it will be life-changing. If so, I hope that person contacts me.

And this little experience serves to strengthen my faith. It wasn’t that long ago that I was once again questioning this quest to God. The high from the Oregon City launch had worn off. And, while I’m sophisticated enough to know that I can’t always live a mountaintop experience, I’m still not completely convinced of what I’m doing. So, I meditate and I pray to God and I ask for clarity. And I ask Him to give me what I need because I’m not sure. Then, Salem.

I know doubt will continue to creep into my mind. But with every little success and with every little step forward, I will be motivated because 1) I’m doing something that is meaningful to me and 2) I will be reminded of what’s important.

That’s the greatest prize of all.

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