Pushing 300

Yes, I’m pushing three hundred. No, not three hundred pounds. I’m pushing three hundred hits on my website already. I’m averaging about seventeen hits a day. It’s not huge in the grand scheme of things, but it’s substantial. It’s very encouraging and I have my friends to thank. The thing is, only a handful have been on the site, I believe. I’ve got two hundred eighty-nine friends on Facebook and not all of them communicate that much. This suggests that some people are visiting multiple times. And there’s probably a smattering of strangers.

My friend, Greg, has done a great job on the website. I’m glad for these baby steps yet again. Overall, I’m quite a private man and this book thing is requiring me to step out of my comfortable milieu to accept and admit that I will be participating in the public more. And how.

I will be contacting newspapers, radio stations, television stations, cable stations, book stores, everything I can think of to get this book going. I will be sending copies to the managers for Madonna, Oprah Winfrey, Sandra Bullock, Angelina Jolie, Rod Stewart and Joni Mitchell. I will also be Googling all adopted celebrities and sending them copies along with a reality TV show about adoption. I know the chances are small of being recognized. But they’re non-existent if I don’t try.

I need to make a comment on something that happened recently. I found out that I’m receiving a generous inheritance from my father’s estate. My brother said, “This should prove to you that he cared.” Well, maybe I’m too cynical, but it doesn’t. Money doesn’t buy the important things in life. I’m grateful for the money I’m receiving but it leaves me strangely empty. It’s not what I wanted. I never entered this family so I could get my hands on some loot. I wanted to know my family and have a relationship with them. It’s bad enough I never met my mother. Can’t help that. What’s worse is that I DID know my father and he refused to acknowledge or accept me.

While I am rapidly moving on, the receipt of this money only served to remind me of what I didn’t get. I suppose I should just shut up and “take the money and run”. That’s all I can do. Some day I’ll know the truth and it will set me free. Until then, I am content to know I did all I could. I can hold my head high. No guilt here.

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